what if i told you, that i've been feeling fine ?

lights off was a moment, I always tell people; cause I managed to say something I wasn't even aware I was capable of. To forgive is a big act, especially when the person doesn't necessarily deserve it. 

the day we made the demo i was randomly heading out when Guus hit me up and told me he was in studio, some people had cancelled on him. he asked me to pull up & told me to invite whoever. i shouted rawda, we had made a couple songs in the past few weeks so we were on a good streak, made sense to go 5 for 5 init ?

when we got there, we sat and caught up with each other, what we've been up to, who we've been working with, and what songs we've made. me and rawda showed him a song we made with Dylan a week prior and all that. some slow r&b love song. i personally luv that song, rawda feels like it needs work. if you're reading this we're gna finish that.

but anyways, guus did what guus does & played in them keyyyyyys bro. them keyyyyyyyyyys. i live for this. me & rawda both went into our corners and started mumbling words//collided thoughts after 15 mins and were like, yo ! we got the subject.

the thing about going with the flow, adrenaline and alla that is, you never deep what you're doing in the moment. i instantly went into this one situation where this one guy who was supposed to be my friend snaked me for 4bills. if you know me, you know the one. i hold grudges & i'm not perfect, some shit just gets to me tho. i never knew i could forgive that, but when i deep it i had to cause it was cutting me up man. if i spoke to em about it they'd gaslight and give one two reasons why it's not what it looks like or whatever, but how you gonna do that when my p's are missing and you've got em ? & i know this cause i've tried !

maybe you've experienced something similar, where you're tryna explain why someone's done you wrong and they're not hearing it. maybe to them it's a joke. and maybe it's time you free yourself from that !

what i'm tryna say is, forgiveness is something you gotta do for yourself. some people won't respect that growth, but fuck em. it's not for em. remember why and you'll be fine.

lights off is a reminder of that. lights off is for when you forget. lights off is your safe haven. 

like my good friend MissLoulou says, learn to forgive ! your soul will grow much older !

 - mase J

one thought at a time

"what is wellbeing ? the ppl dem need money & resources !"

one thought at a time i tell myself, with pinegrove's need 2 (slowed) is playing in the background. escapism is an art that i am yet to master. cause if i'm not workaholic i'm alcoholic. for good measure, i've put the bottle down. 4 weeks strong babyyyyy and it ain't even tough like that really. other things are harder. but, one thought at a time.

i return back to the pen in my most dire hours. as of late i've started the artist's way journey, a 12 week program to reconnect with the self (and as I would put it in layman's terms, to never get writers block again). taking inspiration from doechii i'm gna vlog the process on my youtube, see what happens. we'll be on week two when i start but late is better than never right ? one thought at a time.

i'm starting to think about distancing myself. i have a lot of people around me a lot of the times. then sometimes no one at all. the difference is a trip. not talking fomo. just, everyone has their own things going on & i need to handle my own shit before i can even think about helping you//knocking you for yours. one thought at a time.

it's the first day of aries season ? why shit so topsy turvy. lemme feel at home. hahahahah. still gotta move vigilant & militant cause the fuck do i look like ? letting shit slide so you can feel a1. you better ask somebody who i am ! but yo, one thought at a time.

gonna drop a new snippet soon. the streets are waiting for that new mase J. i gotta feed the drought, if i don't who will ?? (always be yourself. the world won't forgive you either way. you may as well make them remember you, for who YOU are. i'm scared too. but i face it. everyday. i remember you used to laugh at me. soon i'll be laughing on top of towers for all the times i used to cower. one thought at a time).

i told rozz i do blog posts. everytime i see her. she forgets and then i tell her again. someone tell her she's been name dropped lol. 

one thought at a time

2025, pay up

this year, i'm moving sooooo much smarter and intensely. it's actually personal. like, VERY personal.

there's so much i want to do with my life and this is just the beginning.

i heard one of my very first songs i ever recorded the other day and fuck me, big up my family for not telling me to call it quits man. i was SHIT. talking about SHIT. on SHIT beats. thank you to them for always believing in my delusions of being the greatest, cause look how far we've come now. everyday there's a new level to reach, a bar to raise, emotions to touch. i won't stop now. to admit i'm good is to admit defeat. & that's just not in my blood icl.

no more wasting time and energy on what doesn't serve me. this is an oath to myself cause no one is coming to save me. no one. and BOY is that freeing.

taking matters into my own two hands. i prefer devotion over discipline any day. i'm the one that's going to take it further than ever before. it has to be me. i deserve it all. they used to say i'm the one, they should have never gassed me up.

been lowkey avoiding the blog for a while now. but I had to let these thoughts go. after this i'm gna go write a freestyle, ain't pushed my pen in that direction in a minute now. s/o shadowman reekz and sam mcalister. i was with them in studio not long ago, eternally grateful for the inspiration you guys give me.

there's a lot still gone unaddressed, a lot of false narratives running and even a couple gimmicks near me, but icl i ain't got time for all that no more.

3 principles. explore, reflect, connect. words i will live and die by. until they no longer serve me

i'll explain one day

i'm good at what i do !

i'm good at what i do ! (daily mantra)

this is a coffee fuelled entry, at 16:31 on 18.11.24. yes i'm aware i haven't spoke to you in a while. yes this stays in the back of my head. no i won't make a conscious effort to cater to my audience more. middle finger emoji !

i think what'll be cool this time, would be to drop a private soundcloud link to a secret playlist of unreleased stuff, then you can anonymously comment what you think of them ! yeahhhhhh. i'm sold. tell me i'm shit. tell me i'm good at what i do ! (daily mantra)

of course what you say i'll take into account, however this is my music my life my world i'm creating, you just happen to be graced with the blessing of sharing these life & times with me; so, whether you like these songs or not, they'll probably still come out.

soundcloud link !

remember that you're good at what you do ! (your daily mantra)

click me

bilal - tell me

today i believe

i believe in the everything & nothing at all

i believe things are how they are, and only faith in Yah can things change for the better

i believe in the wind and the trees and the sun and the sea

i believe in the air that fills my lungs

i believe in my two hands

i believe that i'm not the person i thought i was, i'm just a lover

i believe in a currency more expensive than paper

i believe in honesty

i believe in forgiveness (not forgetting)

i believe in ideas

what i believe is solace

i can tell you what i don't believe in as well

i don't believe in no saviour gimmick, police or your spiritual leader

i don't believe in monsters under the bed, just the ones that speak to you in low volume in the back of your head

i don't believe in alcohol (i'm going through the phases still)

i don't believe in no artificial

i don't believe in one way interaction

i don't believe i can do everything by myself, why do I try ?

i don't believe i'm the person you think i am

i don't believe what they told me about my beginnings

i don't believe nothing matters at all, even though it can definitely feel that way

i don't believe it when people try tell me i can't do things, but hey here's to trying, ha

listen to Bilal's new song, Tell me

nightmares of the bottom

dear mase,

all or nothing, there's nothing else

periodically reaffirm my affirmations of being the greatest. to touch the sky and get the clouds out my finger nails. call me "Survivor"; there's no way i go through everything i do, just to land in the fields of mediocrity. i just-

i hope i'm the person i need to be,

i hope i'm getting the respect i deserve,

& i hope that i'm doing enough for you

nightmares of the bottom by lil wayne keeps me going, it's literally on repeat rn. i still remember when The Carter IV came out. I was biking the paper route 5 days a week with it in my headphones, religiously. and that's meant everything to a godless child...to then have something to believe in, a sense of purpose

i took it and ran with it, that feeling. right now i'm packing for my new flat in north london before I start my last year of uni, but i won't ever stop learning i swear it.

making another project. i got a lot of clarity now, i just pray it all aligns. i know it will. it's just a matter of time. the goal is always the same; to connect to as many people as possible through the music, and i know that it's an ongoing project. if that's the task for my time on this planet rock then so be it, i'll see it through. to the beyond & further. 

i think i have a name for the project. but everything's undergoing development still. 

maybe you can write me back when you have time.

I ain't doing nothing but taking my share, breathing this air, & mums just told me that she'll keep me in her prayers, so I’m feeling alright, I’m tryna stay aware, tryna keep the spirit when the ghost disappears..

oh and btw i hope forgiveness is something you're now good at

yours faithfully,

mase

personality//person !

*clears throat*

welcome, friend and foe, ally and enemy, brethren and opp alike,

rejoice!

after weeks of life, studio, and creation, my next single is gonna be out very soon ! can't give you too much detail rn, but this one's gonna be a good one. produced by yours truly, of course.

I've been doing shit though. been here and there, building and breaking as time slowly expires. I hope things change soon. I'm so ready to push this further. But everything in it's due course. 

Luis Rico told me some smart shit the other day. reminded me the distinction between a personality, and a person. long story short, to be the person I have to be, it means giving up a part of me, for everyone to see. And I don't wanna give too much, let alone any at all (!) I find that narrative common when looking back at my lyrics, you can see pieces, shards & fragments of me but never the full story. me and Wizz spoke on this some time back. maybe I hide behind layers in my lyrics because some things are too raw to the touch. whatever it is, I get lost in a tornado of mirrors all angled different, showcasing different parts of me but too close to get the full shot.

I started this blog to get some thoughts out. i'm still gna do that, however I hereby solemnly swear to try to be a person; not a personality.

A personality to me in this context is an internet entity that portrays a certain image; but has no foundations in terms of a backgrounding story to explain why said character is like how they are.

But yo, sorry to make this such a fuckin essay hahaha i'm just tryna reach my dreams lmfao

how are you, how's the family, good? that's good. we thank God. stay up !