i'm good at what i do !

i'm good at what i do ! (daily mantra)

this is a coffee fuelled entry, at 16:31 on 18.11.24. yes i'm aware i haven't spoke to you in a while. yes this stays in the back of my head. no i won't make a conscious effort to cater to my audience more. middle finger emoji !

i think what'll be cool this time, would be to drop a private soundcloud link to a secret playlist of unreleased stuff, then you can anonymously comment what you think of them ! yeahhhhhh. i'm sold. tell me i'm shit. tell me i'm good at what i do ! (daily mantra)

of course what you say i'll take into account, however this is my music my life my world i'm creating, you just happen to be graced with the blessing of sharing these life & times with me; so, whether you like these songs or not, they'll probably still come out.

soundcloud link !

remember that you're good at what you do ! (your daily mantra)

click me

bilal - tell me

today i believe

i believe in the everything & nothing at all

i believe things are how they are, and only faith in Yah can things change for the better

i believe in the wind and the trees and the sun and the sea

i believe in the air that fills my lungs

i believe in my two hands

i believe that i'm not the person i thought i was, i'm just a lover

i believe in a currency more expensive than paper

i believe in honesty

i believe in forgiveness (not forgetting)

i believe in ideas

what i believe is solace

i can tell you what i don't believe in as well

i don't believe in no saviour gimmick, police or your spiritual leader

i don't believe in monsters under the bed, just the ones that speak to you in low volume in the back of your head

i don't believe in alcohol (i'm going through the phases still)

i don't believe in no artificial

i don't believe in one way interaction

i don't believe i can do everything by myself, why do I try ?

i don't believe i'm the person you think i am

i don't believe what they told me about my beginnings

i don't believe nothing matters at all, even though it can definitely feel that way

i don't believe it when people try tell me i can't do things, but hey here's to trying, ha

listen to Bilal's new song, Tell me

nightmares of the bottom

dear mase,

all or nothing, there's nothing else

periodically reaffirm my affirmations of being the greatest. to touch the sky and get the clouds out my finger nails. call me "Survivor"; there's no way i go through everything i do, just to land in the fields of mediocrity. i just-

i hope i'm the person i need to be,

i hope i'm getting the respect i deserve,

& i hope that i'm doing enough for you

nightmares of the bottom by lil wayne keeps me going, it's literally on repeat rn. i still remember when The Carter IV came out. I was biking the paper route 5 days a week with it in my headphones, religiously. and that's meant everything to a godless child...to then have something to believe in, a sense of purpose

i took it and ran with it, that feeling. right now i'm packing for my new flat in north london before I start my last year of uni, but i won't ever stop learning i swear it.

making another project. i got a lot of clarity now, i just pray it all aligns. i know it will. it's just a matter of time. the goal is always the same; to connect to as many people as possible through the music, and i know that it's an ongoing project. if that's the task for my time on this planet rock then so be it, i'll see it through. to the beyond & further. 

i think i have a name for the project. but everything's undergoing development still. 

maybe you can write me back when you have time.

I ain't doing nothing but taking my share, breathing this air, & mums just told me that she'll keep me in her prayers, so I’m feeling alright, I’m tryna stay aware, tryna keep the spirit when the ghost disappears..

oh and btw i hope forgiveness is something you're now good at

yours faithfully,

mase

personality//person !

*clears throat*

welcome, friend and foe, ally and enemy, brethren and opp alike,

rejoice!

after weeks of life, studio, and creation, my next single is gonna be out very soon ! can't give you too much detail rn, but this one's gonna be a good one. produced by yours truly, of course.

I've been doing shit though. been here and there, building and breaking as time slowly expires. I hope things change soon. I'm so ready to push this further. But everything in it's due course. 

Luis Rico told me some smart shit the other day. reminded me the distinction between a personality, and a person. long story short, to be the person I have to be, it means giving up a part of me, for everyone to see. And I don't wanna give too much, let alone any at all (!) I find that narrative common when looking back at my lyrics, you can see pieces, shards & fragments of me but never the full story. me and Wizz spoke on this some time back. maybe I hide behind layers in my lyrics because some things are too raw to the touch. whatever it is, I get lost in a tornado of mirrors all angled different, showcasing different parts of me but too close to get the full shot.

I started this blog to get some thoughts out. i'm still gna do that, however I hereby solemnly swear to try to be a person; not a personality.

A personality to me in this context is an internet entity that portrays a certain image; but has no foundations in terms of a backgrounding story to explain why said character is like how they are.

But yo, sorry to make this such a fuckin essay hahaha i'm just tryna reach my dreams lmfao

how are you, how's the family, good? that's good. we thank God. stay up !

hands ! (hold on)

i'd rather throw hands than cry

i'd rather drink this drink than cry

i'd rather set this house on fire & tuck myself into bed than cry

i don't cry a lot but i wish i did, i have a lot on my mind !

should've beens, could've beens, & would've beens. too many to count. i should get "no ragrets" tatted to my skin to remind myself always, that the sun comes up. i'm calling this one hands ! 

my hands move things... break things... shake things... lately my hands have been holding hers ! & that's a beautiful thing

i put hands hands together in prayer to keep the faith, i raise a toast to the fallen to honour the memories, i throw a middle finger once i identify the false among us. hands do a lot. my hands do a lot. except wipe tears. why ?

i wish i could cry more, i have a lot to be happy about. family, friends, clara, music ! air, water, the earth i stand on, the fire in my veins, the list goes on & on & on. 

maybe your hands are tired. maybe they're covered in dirt, & grit, & mud. maybe they're coated with sin, maybe they reek of the smoke you've been chaining. 

keep moving

slide them gloves on & weather it anyway you can, put them rings on & feel yourself a little, roll the windows down & feel the air in between your fingers.

keep moving until it kills you !

i have to keep moving, moving my hands. i need to build, destroy, create & all of it. for now, my hands can hold this cigarette & tap tap tap at this keyboard. there's a time & place, and i'm glad you're here with me right now. you coulda been anywhere else !

electric feelings !

 just a small small update on life as i see it ! nothing too deep today

woke up, brushed my teeth. did my morning pages & gave thanks to the maker for the air in my lungs. typing this thing out. gotta go into uni for a session with malikah later on, after that rehearsal with the band for our gig on the 4th of june. would be cool af to see you all there. tickets in my bio ! (gotta get to this bag). was making a song yesterday, another case of trying to decipher these electric feelings; sometimes it come out poetic, other times i can't find the right balance between sobriety & turnt. either way we come out better for it.

*coffee break*

ok i'm back

i can't believe you niggas read this shit. shout out charles bukowski for convincing me that i, a half hearted degenerate, too can write beautiful sonnets. & i say half hearted cause i go off the rails but my heart ain't into alla that bro. i love peace ! stability ! organisation ! i CRAVE it. i've seen some of the other side, and it isn't pretty there. s/o abingdon street.

things go up & down, bro. side to side, you gotta swayyy bro. find that balance. ride the tide & go against the grain. that's what i tell myself everyday. i tell myself this because like you, i have no fucking idea what is going on. like bro ? i'm a walking existential crisis with bad spending habits (getting better) !

it is now the next day. yes, i let this marinate because i didn't know what to say. some more updates:

ordered a chinese, just learnt that new demon slayer is out !! bout to #lockin fr

errmmmmmm i wanna make a song called electric feelings; i think that's a cool title

saved my plant from the brink of death !

lastly, i've just gone semi-viral on tiktok; yes, that's right. you're reading the words of a man with 20k+ views on a singular post.

lose my number.

duo lingo !

fucking lost my streak didn't i?

PSA.

the past few weeks have been me running at a steady pace from responsibility. i drank too much, neglected looking after myself, & have essentially fallen apart. i say steady with full vindication. it's been danger, but it's not that deep. you fully don't need to worry about me, there's bigger issues at hand.

last night i raced my friend ethan (komaro) over 100 some metres, and even though I narrowly won, I severely pulled a muscle in my leg which left me limping for the rest of the night, and even now. like bro how am I getting to the willesden later. anyways, following my injury I had a strong desire to uber home, however all the money I wasted was looming over me and I decided to bus it home. as painful as it was, i needed that hurt as a catalyst man. i forgot what it means to be. sometimes you have to walk thru the fire for the greater good. sometimes you gotta keep walking through the dark even though you only see the next few metres. a lot of things I put off. today I'm back on my bullshit fr. 

as small as it was, i'm mad proud of myself for not playing madeinTYO - uber everywhere last night to end up burning a hole in my pocket. I'm glad no one picked up the phone last night. as much as I needed a shoulder to cry on, it's refreshing to remember that there's no one that can help you more than yourself.

i haven't got all the answers. i haven't even got my fucking leg back. soon as I do tho, i'm running. this time not towards the danger or away from myself, this time the right way. full speed til my body drop ! 2024, i got a lot of prospects. 

alas, wasted money & beautiful memories. too much alcohol & good stories. heartache but i love pain, it's all a part of the journey. tarot card reading told me as much. another thing it told me was, being radically yourself isn't the issue. the issue is the trust that comes with that. there's a certain uncertainty in the air at the moment, and i can't wait to figure it all out.

anyways. s/o rawda for taking me under her wing on tour last night. you & matt killed it!

weigh down on me, feat. DVRRYL. 31st May. pre-save for a chance to win some merch !

(the good thing about duo lingo streaks is you can get it back)