electric feelings !

 just a small small update on life as i see it ! nothing too deep today

woke up, brushed my teeth. did my morning pages & gave thanks to the maker for the air in my lungs. typing this thing out. gotta go into uni for a session with malikah later on, after that rehearsal with the band for our gig on the 4th of june. would be cool af to see you all there. tickets in my bio ! (gotta get to this bag). was making a song yesterday, another case of trying to decipher these electric feelings; sometimes it come out poetic, other times i can't find the right balance between sobriety & turnt. either way we come out better for it.

*coffee break*

ok i'm back

i can't believe you niggas read this shit. shout out charles bukowski for convincing me that i, a half hearted degenerate, too can write beautiful sonnets. & i say half hearted cause i go off the rails but my heart ain't into alla that bro. i love peace ! stability ! organisation ! i CRAVE it. i've seen some of the other side, and it isn't pretty there. s/o abingdon street.

things go up & down, bro. side to side, you gotta swayyy bro. find that balance. ride the tide & go against the grain. that's what i tell myself everyday. i tell myself this because like you, i have no fucking idea what is going on. like bro ? i'm a walking existential crisis with bad spending habits (getting better) !

it is now the next day. yes, i let this marinate because i didn't know what to say. some more updates:

ordered a chinese, just learnt that new demon slayer is out !! bout to #lockin fr

errmmmmmm i wanna make a song called electric feelings; i think that's a cool title

saved my plant from the brink of death !

lastly, i've just gone semi-viral on tiktok; yes, that's right. you're reading the words of a man with 20k+ views on a singular post.

lose my number.

duo lingo !

fucking lost my streak didn't i?

PSA.

the past few weeks have been me running at a steady pace from responsibility. i drank too much, neglected looking after myself, & have essentially fallen apart. i say steady with full vindication. it's been danger, but it's not that deep. you fully don't need to worry about me, there's bigger issues at hand.

last night i raced my friend ethan (komaro) over 100 some metres, and even though I narrowly won, I severely pulled a muscle in my leg which left me limping for the rest of the night, and even now. like bro how am I getting to the willesden later. anyways, following my injury I had a strong desire to uber home, however all the money I wasted was looming over me and I decided to bus it home. as painful as it was, i needed that hurt as a catalyst man. i forgot what it means to be. sometimes you have to walk thru the fire for the greater good. sometimes you gotta keep walking through the dark even though you only see the next few metres. a lot of things I put off. today I'm back on my bullshit fr. 

as small as it was, i'm mad proud of myself for not playing madeinTYO - uber everywhere last night to end up burning a hole in my pocket. I'm glad no one picked up the phone last night. as much as I needed a shoulder to cry on, it's refreshing to remember that there's no one that can help you more than yourself.

i haven't got all the answers. i haven't even got my fucking leg back. soon as I do tho, i'm running. this time not towards the danger or away from myself, this time the right way. full speed til my body drop ! 2024, i got a lot of prospects. 

alas, wasted money & beautiful memories. too much alcohol & good stories. heartache but i love pain, it's all a part of the journey. tarot card reading told me as much. another thing it told me was, being radically yourself isn't the issue. the issue is the trust that comes with that. there's a certain uncertainty in the air at the moment, and i can't wait to figure it all out.

anyways. s/o rawda for taking me under her wing on tour last night. you & matt killed it!

weigh down on me, feat. DVRRYL. 31st May. pre-save for a chance to win some merch !

(the good thing about duo lingo streaks is you can get it back)